I Wrote a Book (Volume 1)

Honestly probably the most favorite thing in my life is sitting in the backyard under a thick blanket at night, my ass flat on the cold ground, I'm buzzed and stoned, and I'm thinking about my connection to the universe.  Nobody knows who I am except for the bees, and they’re sleeping now. So I’m a perfect moment slipped into time. Perhaps you are here too, but you’re only a ghost of a ghost, or a thought of a thought, so I’m entirely undisturbed.  Backyard.  Blanket.  Buzzed.  Sisyphus had a good thing going if you think about it. He had a purpose, an eternal purpose, and that’s more than most will get.  What now?  The best thing at times like this is to find comfort in being restrained and dig deep into the cultural metaphors because the answer is imprinted in our memories. And so long as you resign yourself to the game, you have a real shot at figuring out the truth, but it's important that you don't give up the search. Life still has meaning....

The first time I every successfully jacked off, I did it to the picture of a man. It’s probably not a subject I should be discussing, but I’m trying to remember the major moments in my life, and this stands out among them. I was 13 at the time.  I’d seen the picture several times in a heavy metal magazine that my sister kept in her bedroom. The picture was innocuous enough; it certainly wasn’t intended to be erotica, but that’s how I saw it. In the picture, a raucous lead singer stood shirtless in a backstage dressing room. A towel draped around his waist, and he smirked knowingly into the camera while exposing his bare chest. I felt myself particularly aroused by the picture, though I told myself I liked it only because I admired the band and not because I truly liked the man’s body.  Nobody ever showed me how to jack off, but I figured it out. Don’t get me wrong: I'd played with myself a thousand times before that, but I did it like a child would, to feel a faint sensation, ...

  *** I don’t know if you’ve ever seen this model of spacecraft before. I imagine that advancements in science and technology have improved on the overall general designs, but then again, maybe not. Sometimes future technology is actually worse, and people longingly remember the craftsmanship of an older era. Maybe my spaceship is one of those well-made machines from an older more nostalgic time. Maybe I’m flying in a classic!  And who knows. Maybe you’ll end up in a ship that’s  exactly  like mine, in which case, I hope that some of what I say will be practical and of use to you. If your model is different, then I guess you can skip over the parts that don’t concern you or your needs. I wouldn’t blame you for skipping through this.  Anyhow, the spaceship: the designer of this vessel (the architect) seems to have favored a simple, practical layout with few amenities that are not directly linked to survival and daily living. I’ve heard some of the units were con...